A day after a gloomy Sunday awaits
To no avail, I’m trying hard to recreate
Yet I’ve always been alone on this day
Nevertheless, I won’t ever cease to pray

This is my third? fourth? attempt to see
What on this very day is awaiting me
Past few times I’ve been disappointed
Hoping to achieve I’ve always regretted

It’s pathetic to see how desperate I am
I can’t find a word, I don’t give a damn
I’ve still kept some dignity inside of me
And now I’m about to risk it all for glee

The crazy things love will make you do
Many vain attempts, you’ve seen it too
And I know I’ll probably fail in succeeding
But still, nothing to do, I’m still bleeding

In fact, who cares, I’ve no role in society
Held together by uniformity and notoriety
But over me, they have little authority
I would be the one to introduce diversity

Sure, they’ll laugh at me, put me in shame
And for all I know you might do the same
But it’s okay, you won’t take the blame
Be sure of that, my passion wild yet tame

I’ll keep talking, whether you like it or not
I’ll start to stand up for real, rid of the cot
If I hurt you I’ll make amends, no ink blot
No more waiting, I’ll hit right on the spot

Well what are you waiting for? Come here.
If you don’t like me, euthanize me, my dear
I’d like it if you do, gunpoint to my right ear
Freedom and desire, I hope I make it clear

I’ll make fifteen verses, just for you to read
But I’ll make it fast, forever I can’t bleed
I guess my love for you grew on me, a seed
Buried and watered, caring advice to heed

Don’t even know how it started, not a clue
Abrupt changes in rhyme patterns are hard
For you and me, to read and write, it’s true
I’m trying my luck, go ahead, pick a card

With that last line on my face I wore a smirk
The slot machine, hope I get the jackpot
The chances hide, in the shadows they lurk
I may get what I’ve always wanted, I may not

Let’s go back to the bottom, the very taproot
I couldn’t even believe it myself, is it just fate?
A wild ride, sometimes too crazy, others smooth
If it is you or not, maybe it’s still up for debate

Coincidences with consequences, stupid rule
They brought me to you, how could I’ve known?
To commit oneself to a stranger, I’m a fool
But what if I have a past that I’ve outgrown?

And now I jump down into this wide crevice
Hiding myself temporarily, for me not to be seen
When it comes to these things, I am a novice
But as I promised earlier, I give you fifteen

I’d be a hypocrite and liar if I said I had a heart as cold as can be. But I wish for just that. It’s not as much pain as it is longing, but without you… Admittedly I try to exaggerate the situation. I try not to forget you when my love for you is slowly fading away. But I guess it is the love that makes me do that.

Somehow, I always want it to be this cold. Just to show me, needing warmth. Then, when I get the opportunity that it is only you and I, I’ll sit beside you and perhaps start a little conversation. Just to take my mind off of the cold. And all the while I shall dream of warm hugs in the middle of the night, pretending I’m too stupid, numb, or just a person who forgot to use his common sense to lend you his jacket.

Sometimes, I try to exaggerate that time has passed by. Each time I look at the clock, it always shows either that it’s still early or that not much time has passed. But now, also that I have stopped reading stories and decided to write my own, I see only less than a ten minutes before eleven. I think I’ll be just in time if I went to your place just to look at the landscape, cityscape, or whatever good view may be near. Wherever your place is. I wish I knew…

But in my imagination, I was always the one who was talking when we were finally together. I visualized me telling you about my bohemian lifestyle and philosophies, with you trying to relate, occasionally telling me I have a point and keeping in mind some of the things I’ve said. I always explained to you that when you’re just so taciturn, there would always be these words, these phrases just begging for the opportunity to burst out.

Also, I thought about the possible problems that could hinder our relationship if any. I knew those problems were serious and inevitable. But I guess we still had our relationship.

I knew we would have to break up eventually, and the only choice for me when that happens is to start a new life in a new place in a new way. It would scar me forever. But I would try to avoid that. You’re older than me and some might say too good for me, whereas I’m just the usual douchebag who doesn’t even hang out or engage conversations, but a different sort of jerk who knows everything. I think I’m even taller than you. We’d have made a very awkward, or at least unorthodox couple. I may not have a few aces up my sleeve, but I guess that’s because I keep them in my pocket. I just hope they’re aces, or at least enough to win you over.

I talk too much.

The barriers and hurdles that keep me from you
The same ones that hold you in place, it’s true
I can’t even run to you, neither can you to me
When, oy vey, if ever, can we be truly set free?

Sad to say, I’d probably be disappointed even
When we meet, on January fourteen, or seven?
Nineteen may also be so, a true disappointment
Festivities, celebrations, but you won’t be present…

But now, alas, here I am again
Walking under continuous chanting
A spell or curse, somehow pleasurable
Contenting, yet still a heavy burden

This poem may be a bland one to some
Even to me, its author, who hath none
To give or take, to write about, in no form
But absence and loss itself, merely those

That inspire, no, force me to write
About my feelings and my lack of them
True love soon to be lost and recovered
A philosophy so strong better untold of

Where am I going, I write about nothing
Yet something tells me, from my mind
That nothing, is something to write about
I guess I have so little but something at all

You can never win a war; you can just make the other side lose more.
‘Cause when it’s finally over, you realize that you lost more than you gained.
But then, you come to the fact that you can only recognize happiness when you’ve felt pain
What you don’t normally realize is that few seek true happiness; all avoid pain

Conflict is perpetual; one nation’s army needs another nation’s army to fight. And the fact of the matter is, people do things for no apparent reason; we keep expanding our armies and try to avoid conflict all the while.

War is delightful to those who have not experienced it; therefore, we must retire all of our servicemen such that nobody will experience war, and finally get something good out of it.

There are two things a serviceman can be: a hero, one who fights and does not die in the end; or a martyr, one who dies at the beginning and does not fight. And yet most of the people whom we commemorate are the martyrs, and living heroes are forgotten.

There was once a man who asked me “Are you ready to die for your nation?” I blatantly said “No. I’d rather fight for her”.

Why waste bullets when you can waste guns?

There is no logical reason to hate guns. However, there is much reason to hate him who uses it to slaughter others.

It’s not quite revolution if the rebels don’t win. ie. Philippine Revolution.

It’s easiest to obtain unity if there’s just one.

Your weapon may have been made by the lowest bidder but at least he had enough money to bid.

I’m not going to count days nor weeks
Regardless of how it could ever get bleak
The more I count, the more I grieve
No joy these holidays, this Christmas eve

“But hey, it’s Christmas!” some might say
Nonetheless I’m feeling of much dismay
Maybe poems just won’t cut it, I guess
Time to embark on my journey, God bless

Though still, I guess it’s time to rejoice
Anno Domini, time to listen to His voice
His birth in the stable, new across Israel
One event that we’ll constantly retell

Still, I don’t know how to express it
Are your holidays going good, a little bit?
You’re probably okay without me, I reckon
Go ahead, be happy, your life beckons

I’ll be okay; they’re just minor breakdowns
Maybe a few laughs and plenty of frowns
But it’s okay, I always know you’re just there
So just remember be, that I’ll be right here

“GO! GO! GO!”
“Get down! On the floor now!”
No.
“I said get down!”
Not interested.
“Get on the floor or we will shoot!”
That’s how they killed me.

Guys from the military, maybe cops.
Real badass, real annoying.
A waste of budget money.
Center of attraction and action.
In the houses and in the desert.
Even if the president dismissed it.
Like the usual government cover-ups.
Like hornets doing the usual bailing.
End of the line, you already get the idea.

If you don’t, not my problem.

However, I’ve more to say.
Opinion, fact, reason.
Purpose, need, privilege.
Energy, control, effect.

Yearning for a difference.
One difference. Just one.
Unmindful of the cost.
Risking everything, no less.
End the suffering, now.

Raking all the glories.
Ensuring victory and success.
Atypical infinite potential.
Developed into impossibly more.
Into goals, into actions…
Nothing cannot be done.
Goals are all reached.

This isn’t your usual blog post or essay.
His knowledge includes that. As in His.
Is it not true? Perhaps to some.
S is going to give it all away!

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