Valentine

I know it’s too early, but try as I may
One month too soon, it’s always gray
This would probably be my only gift
Unless fate would play, boundaries shift

A day after a gloomy Sunday awaits
To no avail, I’m trying hard to recreate
Yet I’ve always been alone on this day
Nevertheless, I won’t ever cease to pray

This is my third? fourth? attempt to see
What on this very day is awaiting me
Past few times I’ve been disappointed
Hoping to achieve I’ve always regretted

It’s pathetic to see how desperate I am
I can’t find a word, I don’t give a damn
I’ve still kept some dignity inside of me
And now I’m about to risk it all for glee

The crazy things love will make you do
Many vain attempts, you’ve seen it too
And I know I’ll probably fail in succeeding
But still, nothing to do, I’m still bleeding

In fact, who cares, I’ve no role in society
Held together by uniformity and notoriety
But over me, they have little authority
I would be the one to introduce diversity

Sure, they’ll laugh at me, put me in shame
And for all I know you might do the same
But it’s okay, you won’t take the blame
Be sure of that, my passion wild yet tame

I’ll keep talking, whether you like it or not
I’ll start to stand up for real, rid of the cot
If I hurt you I’ll make amends, no ink blot
No more waiting, I’ll hit right on the spot

Well what are you waiting for? Come here.
If you don’t like me, euthanize me, my dear
I’d like it if you do, gunpoint to my right ear
Freedom and desire, I hope I make it clear

I’ll make fifteen verses, just for you to read
But I’ll make it fast, forever I can’t bleed
I guess my love for you grew on me, a seed
Buried and watered, caring advice to heed

Don’t even know how it started, not a clue
Abrupt changes in rhyme patterns are hard
For you and me, to read and write, it’s true
I’m trying my luck, go ahead, pick a card

With that last line on my face I wore a smirk
The slot machine, hope I get the jackpot
The chances hide, in the shadows they lurk
I may get what I’ve always wanted, I may not

Let’s go back to the bottom, the very taproot
I couldn’t even believe it myself, is it just fate?
A wild ride, sometimes too crazy, others smooth
If it is you or not, maybe it’s still up for debate

Coincidences with consequences, stupid rule
They brought me to you, how could I’ve known?
To commit oneself to a stranger, I’m a fool
But what if I have a past that I’ve outgrown?

And now I jump down into this wide crevice
Hiding myself temporarily, for me not to be seen
When it comes to these things, I am a novice
But as I promised earlier, I give you fifteen

Without You

It’s cold. Very cold. I don’t know if it’s just the fan that’s blowing freezing winds onto me but last time I checked outside the temperature was nearly dropping. It’s like winter right here in the tropics. A slight shiver runs down periodically through my body, in various parts. My stomach also tells me it needs something to digest. I don’t think I can turn off the fan, either because of the mosquitoes here in the tropics who are still here for some reason or because of the silence that fills the night.

I’d be a hypocrite and liar if I said I had a heart as cold as can be. But I wish for just that. It’s not as much pain as it is longing, but without you… Admittedly I try to exaggerate the situation. I try not to forget you when my love for you is slowly fading away. But I guess it is the love that makes me do that.

Somehow, I always want it to be this cold. Just to show me, needing warmth. Then, when I get the opportunity that it is only you and I, I’ll sit beside you and perhaps start a little conversation. Just to take my mind off of the cold. And all the while I shall dream of warm hugs in the middle of the night, pretending I’m too stupid, numb, or just a person who forgot to use his common sense to lend you his jacket.

Sometimes, I try to exaggerate that time has passed by. Each time I look at the clock, it always shows either that it’s still early or that not much time has passed. But now, also that I have stopped reading stories and decided to write my own, I see only less than a ten minutes before eleven. I think I’ll be just in time if I went to your place just to look at the landscape, cityscape, or whatever good view may be near. Wherever your place is. I wish I knew…

But in my imagination, I was always the one who was talking when we were finally together. I visualized me telling you about my bohemian lifestyle and philosophies, with you trying to relate, occasionally telling me I have a point and keeping in mind some of the things I’ve said. I always explained to you that when you’re just so taciturn, there would always be these words, these phrases just begging for the opportunity to burst out.

Also, I thought about the possible problems that could hinder our relationship if any. I knew those problems were serious and inevitable. But I guess we still had our relationship.

I knew we would have to break up eventually, and the only choice for me when that happens is to start a new life in a new place in a new way. It would scar me forever. But I would try to avoid that. You’re older than me and some might say too good for me, whereas I’m just the usual douchebag who doesn’t even hang out or engage conversations, but a different sort of jerk who knows everything. I think I’m even taller than you. We’d have made a very awkward, or at least unorthodox couple. I may not have a few aces up my sleeve, but I guess that’s because I keep them in my pocket. I just hope they’re aces, or at least enough to win you over.

I talk too much.

New Year, This Year, for Next Year

This year, before the days of Christmas end
I hope we meet again, for you to comprehend
That even though we know little of the other
There is a connection between us, I dare bother

The barriers and hurdles that keep me from you
The same ones that hold you in place, it’s true
I can’t even run to you, neither can you to me
When, oy vey, if ever, can we be truly set free?

Sad to say, I’d probably be disappointed even
When we meet, on January fourteen, or seven?
Nineteen may also be so, a true disappointment
Festivities, celebrations, but you won’t be present…

Absence

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Or so they say, for I have forgotten
Three loves lost, never to be found
Yet, I have never even grasped one

But now, alas, here I am again
Walking under continuous chanting
A spell or curse, somehow pleasurable
Contenting, yet still a heavy burden

This poem may be a bland one to some
Even to me, its author, who hath none
To give or take, to write about, in no form
But absence and loss itself, merely those

That inspire, no, force me to write
About my feelings and my lack of them
True love soon to be lost and recovered
A philosophy so strong better untold of

Where am I going, I write about nothing
Yet something tells me, from my mind
That nothing, is something to write about
I guess I have so little but something at all

Duty

A good soldier is one who fights in order to serve his country
A better soldier is one who leads those who fight in order to serve his country
The best soldier is the one who serves his country without fighting

You can never win a war; you can just make the other side lose more.
‘Cause when it’s finally over, you realize that you lost more than you gained.
But then, you come to the fact that you can only recognize happiness when you’ve felt pain
What you don’t normally realize is that few seek true happiness; all avoid pain

Conflict is perpetual; one nation’s army needs another nation’s army to fight. And the fact of the matter is, people do things for no apparent reason; we keep expanding our armies and try to avoid conflict all the while.

War is delightful to those who have not experienced it; therefore, we must retire all of our servicemen such that nobody will experience war, and finally get something good out of it.

There are two things a serviceman can be: a hero, one who fights and does not die in the end; or a martyr, one who dies at the beginning and does not fight. And yet most of the people whom we commemorate are the martyrs, and living heroes are forgotten.

There was once a man who asked me “Are you ready to die for your nation?” I blatantly said “No. I’d rather fight for her”.

Why waste bullets when you can waste guns?

There is no logical reason to hate guns. However, there is much reason to hate him who uses it to slaughter others.

It’s not quite revolution if the rebels don’t win. ie. Philippine Revolution.

It’s easiest to obtain unity if there’s just one.

Your weapon may have been made by the lowest bidder but at least he had enough money to bid.

Departure

Day have passed since separation
Yet I can’t get rid of such addiction
Not to the perfect woman, as I know
But to the woman I love, and I let show

I’m not going to count days nor weeks
Regardless of how it could ever get bleak
The more I count, the more I grieve
No joy these holidays, this Christmas eve

“But hey, it’s Christmas!” some might say
Nonetheless I’m feeling of much dismay
Maybe poems just won’t cut it, I guess
Time to embark on my journey, God bless

Though still, I guess it’s time to rejoice
Anno Domini, time to listen to His voice
His birth in the stable, new across Israel
One event that we’ll constantly retell

Still, I don’t know how to express it
Are your holidays going good, a little bit?
You’re probably okay without me, I reckon
Go ahead, be happy, your life beckons

I’ll be okay; they’re just minor breakdowns
Maybe a few laughs and plenty of frowns
But it’s okay, I always know you’re just there
So just remember be, that I’ll be right here

Stranger

Attached below is simply a story not meant to have any literary meaning but rather meant to catch the attention of a certain someone. And I hope another certain someone will publish this and that it will reach its destination. If you do not publish this, I won’t be disappointed, I’ll understand, but if you do, then I’ll be joyed. Probably.

“GO! GO! GO!”
“Get down! On the floor now!”
No.
“I said get down!”
Not interested.
“Get on the floor or we will shoot!”
That’s how they killed me.

Guys from the military, maybe cops.
Real badass, real annoying.
A waste of budget money.
Center of attraction and action.
In the houses and in the desert.
Even if the president dismissed it.
Like the usual government cover-ups.
Like hornets doing the usual bailing.
End of the line, you already get the idea.

If you don’t, not my problem.

However, I’ve more to say.
Opinion, fact, reason.
Purpose, need, privilege.
Energy, control, effect.

Yearning for a difference.
One difference. Just one.
Unmindful of the cost.
Risking everything, no less.
End the suffering, now.

Raking all the glories.
Ensuring victory and success.
Atypical infinite potential.
Developed into impossibly more.
Into goals, into actions…
Nothing cannot be done.
Goals are all reached.

This isn’t your usual blog post or essay.
His knowledge includes that. As in His.
Is it not true? Perhaps to some.
S is going to give it all away!

Gateway

Perhaps I found yet another path to you. A path, to a land seen, one I have dreamed so much of reaching. I don’t even know what it’ll be like, but for some reason, something keeps pushing me. You’ve noticed that in the last three posts, the first of which started what I like to call “the second era” of this blog, I’ve made poems. You might think that they take long to complete considering the intervals, and yes, they do, but most of the time goes to looking for inspiration. I couldn’t really write when my mind isn’t running. I’ve been out of juice lately.

And so, I’m severing any literary connection between you and me, not that you were aware of it in the first place. This post will mark the end of the second era.

Catching Air

Here we go again, climbing up high
Soaring proudly up unto the sky
Jump off a plane, a little free fall
Grab some momentum, and enthrall

Glide through the sky, catch some air
And before you know it we’ll be there
Through oceans blue and forests green
You’ll never guess where else I’ve been

Now it seems I’ve got your attention
Coming out of my long-lived detention
I open up my wings spread far and wide
Through the big blue sky I will glide

Come, hold on and fly with me and see
That you could stay here for eternity
Feel the breeze, fly unto the tempest
You’ll see that in the sky, I’m the best

And now we dive towards the ground
Recover, maneuver, land safe and sound
But now that we’re refueled and ready
We take off now, but keep it steady

Today, another day another flight
We could keep this up all night
Falling down to catch some air
Then soar up high without a care

Roll and pitch, turn and climb
Wings and tail, it turns on a dime
And as we hit the mountain face
Ready, bail out, for impact brace

What a thrill, what a ride, I feel alive
In joy and in fear we all do thrive
Jump out high altitude, low operation
Then call a helicopter for exfiltration

But things like this cannot last long
Whilst we return, we part, so long
But I know that there will come a day
We’ll go again, forgetting all dismay

Tierra Incognita

For once I dreamed of silence still
And now I dream of endless will
But alas, they are just dreams
Not yet fulfilled, or so it seems

Once I wished upon a shooting star
That He would remove this putrid scar
Once my wish, always in my mind
That I would outrun what is behind

Hatred, grief, sadness, sorrow and scorn
With society rising, a new mindset is born
Of pessimism and despair, of much nihilism
With added philosophy, irony and sarcasm

I cast myself away and now I see
That the world is not full of glee
Yet perhaps what is kind and good
Is all mistook, silly, wrong and rude

Nobody knows what could and would happen
Add all the factors, what seems forsaken
An impossible feat, with no recognition
No honor, no praise, and not even emotion

I will stand against what others believe in
Against the truth that society itself looks for
But in itself declares, their own ridiculous sin
I will look for what is not seen; something more